"Dont forget those CCQ's!" A TEFL Tour of Duty

I arrived at 1030pm last night after a slightly delayed start at Liverpool due to the pedantic but neccessary cabin luggage restriction orders and security checks. This time I came armed with Euros although the charges for changing them at Liverpool were riduculous to say the least. Why the UK doesnt have the Euro is beyond me. Anyway, Alison met me in the centre and took me over to Hostal Union my temporary home until Sam, Ben and I find an apartment. We tried a few tapas and sampled some beers at various bars last night, the nightlife seems quite busy even for a Monday night. Today it has been hot. F&&&&&g hot. 41 degrees at the mo. I havent done a great deal apart from having a little wander around the immediate area. More later.

And so it finished. I'm back in Rhyl now after finishing the summer school in Bristol on Saturday. I'm just too exhausted to write anything in detail now, with the chaos surrounding the new staff, the last talentshow and tidying up, I'm knackered. I think I'll write something in more detail towards the end of the week with photos. This boy needs a rest.

So it's Friday night, 70 students are heading home to their native countries the next day. At 10.30pm we gather them up to ask them to retire their sleeping quarters but of course there are plenty of tearful snoggy goodbyes and a general reluctance to go to bed. All of a sudden there is a big shout from one of the French lads and students are seen scarpering in all directions. It was obviously pre-planned. Eric and the security guard had the wise idea of chasing them which culminated at one of the tennis courts and ended up with them getting a fair dose of verbal abuse from the determined 100 or so students who must have been having the time of their lives. Kate (leisure co-ordinator) had better ideas and told us all to stay put. Dont play the game basically. We all sat under the smoking tent whilst thinking of a suitable punishment. Some of the students came back and stood around chatting wondering what to do. We just ignored them which seemed to bewilder them a little. The game was up. They all slowly came back from their little runaround and finally we got them to bed. Tomorrow was their trip to London. The flagship event of their stay in England. The one they all talked about.
At 9.00 am the next day, 70 excited students were sat in the bus discussing where they would go. Ross boarded the coach and informed them that due to their appaling behaviour the previous night they would instead be visiting the picturesque stunning seaside resort of Weston-Super-Mare. Game set and match to the teaching staff.

One week to go here now. Thankfully, I was promoted to senior teacher last week which meant I dont have to teach this week but give advice to other teachers and generally do some of the paperwork that is needed in the office. Happy days. I head off to Rhyl next week for a well deserved break with Hils. We've got a wedding in Scotland the week after and then off to Ireland for a few days tro meet the family, I think Hils is planning a few days in Donaghal as well. I need a holiday. Flying to Seville on 4th September, the show goes on.

Another tough week at Badminton draws to a close. Last night we experienced our biggest test yet when 100 of the students decided to do a runner when they were supposed to go to bed. The week has been dominated by discipline issues as usual and unfortunately Will leaves today which means a huge part of the enjoyment factor of working here goes as well. But I'm still here, still alive and not entirely burnt out.

This week I've had my toughest class yet to deal with. Advanced Class A is composed of one German student and six Russians including Anastasia and for a couple of days, Patrick. I gave Patrick and Katrina a chance to be able to work together (they've been dating for 2 years apparently) bvut unfortunately they repeatedly tried to kiss in class, exchanging dialogue in Russian and Patrick kept on making comments about inappropriate topics (usually drugtaking in Moscow) regardless of what we were talking about. Patrick was switched to Adam's Advanced C by Wednesday morning. However, the big issue occured on Wednesday when Anastasia arrived at class 20 minutes late. Her excuse was that she had overslept because none of the female staff had woken her up. After thinking for a few seconds I decided that she would have to do an extra half hour of homework that night, which she refused to do. I warned her that she would have to do an extra hour the following night to which she replied "I will speak to Ross." I spoke to Ross in the the break and explained the situation. He agreed with my belief that Anastasia had been here long enough to know when she was supposed to get up. As far as Ross was concerned, the punishment fit the crime. I didnt think more of it until Anastasia came up to me during the time she was supposed to be doing her extra work to gleefully announce that Ross had let her off the punishment. I went to Ross' office to ask what the hell was going on and he simply said that she was upset and he felt that a bit of leniency was needed. Oh give me a f*g break. I was furious to say the least. What is the point of having punishments if you cant carry them out? I have lost a lot of confidence with discipline now because there doesnt seem to be any boundaries, no structure to follow. All the other teachers have had the same problem. It's no surprise that the students ran riot last night. And it will happen again unless we all agree on an organised, uniformed discipline structure. But more importantly we need to have the backing of our superiors as well. More coffee, more cigarettes needed.

Unfortunately, the internet filters here at Badminton School are absurdly strict so I've been unable to retrieve my drafts from the previous three weeks. Anyhow, it's exactly halfway through the summer school now. To summarise, I'm fairly satisfied with my teaching so far. The first week was messy. Confusion, disorganisation and a lack of materials for my advanced classes meant that I wasnt fully able to follow the OISE syllabus to the book. However, I seem to have found a routine despite the chaos but no way am I following the rules of CELTA to any degree. Concept check questions are limited and I cant remember the last time I confirmed any instruction checks with my classes. Teacher talking time is still way too high and my timing is still a little haphazard but this is partially attributed to the unrealistic syllabus from head office. Who the f**k can teach all three types of conditional sentences and explain the differences whilst rounding off with an exercise in 30 minutes??!

The Esseghari sisters have gone, along with the French poseurs and the Italian stallions. Zeineb and Dorra from Tunis were by far the best students I've ever taught. Enthusiastic, hard-working and enormous fun. Often they would tick off the other students for speaking their native tongues. What more could you ask for? The French lot were an arrogant lot but certainly had character and the Italian crew were boisterous but fun-loving. I will miss Marcello a lot. This was his 6th summer school and he behaved like a student who knew how to play the game. Do what you're told and your life is easy. Gregarious, laid-back and always up for a chat. The words "blind" and "eye" come to mind when we noticed him casually heading towards the girls sleeping area for a late visit to his girlfriend. So for the last three weeks who are we left with? A few French, a handful of Germans, a couple of Saudis and a large group of stuck-up, lazy and rude Russians who have quite simply more money than sense. Anastasia and Patrick come to mind. I remember meeting their parents on the first day. They arrived in separate limos avec chauffeurs, all of them with cigarettes dangling out of the corner of their mouths which they stubbornly refused to remove despite the polite signs that are displayed throughout the school. When it came to banking for their children, both fathers left each child the sum of £2500 spending money (to last 3 weeks) plus credit card (for "emergencies"). The teenagers themselves see their English classes as a way of improving their "street" language, that is, they seem to think it is cool to swear as much as possible in class. It seems that good times have hit the streets of Moscow for a select few but I do wish the parents would send their offspring to the States for their English tuition. It seems more appropriate.

Hopefully, I'll be able to get to a non-filtered PC in the next week or so. Three weeks to go. Hils came down for the weekend, she is totally sold by Bristol. My little plan certainly worked.

This place is a madhouse. Currently I am paid to be an EFL Teacher, football referee, nurse and security guard. Nothing was mentioned about this in my contract.

I am now three days into my summer school in Bristol and apart from being perpetually knackered, it's really absorbing and enormous fun. The daily routine works likes this; At 7.15am I have to reluctantly rise from my well-needed slumber to wake up 15 Russian, Italian and French male teenagers and order them into the showers. After this, we eat breakfast (continental style/fry-up) and have a staff meeting. This usually entails discussion of lesson plans, any ongoing issues with the students and the chance to ask any questions. Unfortunately, there is only one director of studies and a leisure & welfare organiser in terms of pillars of authority and guidance and naturally they are continually busy and stressed. Today we had the placement tests instead of normal lessons and once these were marked and sorted, we were able to conduct an introductory class in the afternoon. I opted for the advanced class. They were an enthusiastic and spirited bunch of eight students who responded well to the exercises ("three truthes and a lie", quota questions and that ridiculous throw the ball game to learn everybody's names). After lesssons, the students are supposed to engage in leisure activities (soccer, tennis, arts & crafts, jewellery making to name but a few) but many are more comfortable chatting up the opposite sex and smoking cigarettes. Funny that.

At 20.00 they are more or less left to their own devices which obviously spells danger. If I'm on duty (which I was tonight) basically my role is to ensure that they dont leave the premises (huge) and that they the boys stay away from the girl's sleeping area and vice versa (difficult). It's really hard work to be honest. Thankfully, at 2230 we have to round them up and herd them up to their sleeping quarters and by 2315 they should be lights out and asleep. The Russians are generally well behaved and seem pretty quiet, along with the French. However, the Italian lads are still very excitable from their country's World Cup triumph from the other night and usually need a bang on the door at 1 in the morning. Lorenzo is a boisterous but delightful character. Today, he showed me his cellphone and threatened to display all the pictures of his girlfriends to me which I politely declined. He is also in possession of a pair of boxer shorts displaying the Italian flag across the crotch area. I said to him that none of the French girls would want to snog him with those on to which he casually replied "Ah it ok..they will just take them off." Good grief.

Personally, I am happy with life here. Everything is still a little disorganised but it's just a case of getting used to the system. We have a fire drill practice at 5.45 tomorrow morning so no doubt my high spirits will be surely lowered considerably. We also start the 6-a-side World Cup tournament tomorrow on the astroturf pitch as well. I wonder whats going on in the outside world???

After the get to know each other session yesterday, it was down to the business of setting up the school today. However, today was our last day of freedom before the students arrive tomorrow, so a shopping trip down to Broadmead was top of the agenda: new trainers, razors, shampoo and a fantastic penguin towel. Luke and I both bought one from Superdrug and decided that this could be an ideal punishment for misbehaving students. The penguin towel is coloured blue and pink and has a hood. Severe shame awaits those that cross my path.
The teachers I'm working with are a great bunch. Luke is 32 and just returned from a 6 month tour of duty teaching in Pakistan. Adam and Erica are from Dawlish, newly qualified and hoping to teach in Spain or Portugal after this. Tiffany is local (Horfield) and has just finished a contract in Italy, Gwen is from some toadhole in Mid-Wales but taught in Hong Kong. The director, Ross, seems a nice chap and the Welfare & Leisure Organiser, Kate is full of beans and has been telling some hilarious stories about last year;s school. No doubt I will need 8 pairs of eyes and ears and sonar to catch potential troublemakers in this vast school. The school itself is beautiful. Three astroturf pitches, countless tennis courts, theatre all set in delightful grounds that you would expect from £20,000 a year exclusive girls boarding school.
The students arrive tomorrow from Italy, France and Russia. The morning will be dominated by placement tests after which we will place into Pre-intermediate, intermediate, upper intermediate and advanced classes. The food is awesome and my room is basic but comfortable. Thats it. Oh and we've got The World Cup final as well tomorrow, should be interesting.

I arrived in Bristol late last night After spending a "quiet" night at Dawnies in Fishponds, I attended the initial training day Badminton School. Unfortunately, I'm too drunk to write much more than that. It's been a long day and a long night...but it's good to be back!

The hosts are out. In the dying minutes of extra-time, the Italians booked their place in the World Cup final for the first time since 1994 with two brilliant goals from Grosso and the ever youthful Del Piero. And they fully deserve it. The criticism directed at them after their fortunate victory over Australia was unjustified. Considering that they have been ejected in each World Cup since 1982 through penalty shoot-outs, their time has surely arrived. Germany have played admirably but like England they have not matched the fanatical support with their performances on the pitch against quality opposition. France and Portugal have a tough task on their hands if they are to stop the Italians claiming their fourth World Cup.

What a brilliant day it's been. Hils and I spent a sun soaked day on the beach in the charming beach side village of Prestatyn in North Wales. Rhyl is the main crowd-puller on the coast which entirely baffles me. The beach is ugly and split by those horrendous breakwaters which are so common on British beaches. The main promenade is dominated by loud amusement arcades. To top it all, bathing is not advised due to the presence of sewage in the sea. Nice.
Prestatyn, on the other hand, is characterised by a somewhat more laid back beach with sand and no breakwaters. One is able to swim in the sea and it is less crowded. There is a stunning links golf course right next to the sand and on a hot day like today (30 degrees) I couldn't think of a better place to be. Well alright, Ko Lanta would be nice but hey this will do. It is a perfect way to relax before the summer school next week. 

After weighing up everything, I have come to the conclusion that England's participation in the World Cup was their worst ever. I am not saying this because of the bitterness hangover from yesterday or whether I'm trying to locate an outlet to channel my fury. This is not a measurement of technical peformance either. If anything, England showed signs of displaying greater technical skill than in any previous tournament, especially in the second half of yesterday's encounter with Portugal. I will not remember this World Cup, in relation to England's participation, because there is nothing to remember.
Let me explain. In 1990, England stumbled their way to the Semi-Finals and were undeservedly beaten by West Germany in a memorable penalty decider. David Platt scored that goal against Belgium in the dying seconds of extra time in the second round, Cameroon provided us with arguably England's most entertaining international match ever in the quarter-finals and Gazza's tears in the semi-final were almost a catalyst for the fanatical support that the England team receive today. England went to France in 1998 and scored some memorable goals including Michael Owen's individual stunner against Argentina in the Second Round. In the last World Cup, England beat Argentina in a tense group match, demolished Denmark in the Second Round and played bravely against a far superior Brazil side in the Quarter-Finals. Since 1990, England have been involved in some entertaining skirmishes in the European Championships and World Cup. Despite not walking away with any silverware (or goldware), England always provide entertainment in some form or another. However, what do we have to remember from this World Cup? A Steven Gerrard belter against some English first division hopefuls in the form of Trinidad & Tobago and a red card for our most talented thug in recent times. Oh yes of course. Another losing penalty shoot out.
Thankfully though, the tournament goes on. My best friend Ian was the recipient of some serious mockery a few weeks ago when he somewhat foolishly suggested that France would win The World Cup. What? At the time, France were seen as the "Dad's Army" of the contest. With the midfield age combination well over 100 years and considering their last performance in South Korea, every pundit was predicting the end of the show for this brigade of legends. However, it is Ian who is now getting the last laugh. Last night, France and Zinedine Zidane in particular made a mockery of the Brazillian superstars and subsequently defeated them 1-0 with a well taken Thierry Henry volley. It was a bad day if you were English, had backed Brazil at 11/4 and hated the French. At times, Zidane's trickery was breathtaking. It is inconceivable that the man will retire from football completely at the end of this tournament. Germany are showing their efficient best and the Italians will be full of confidence after their trouncing of Ukraine. However, I would not like to predict any outcomes at this stage. It's anybody's
now.

I leave for Rhyl tomorrow after having spent a few weeks here in Winchester. I need to arrive in Bristol for Thursday in time for Friday's opening meeting at the school in Westbury-on-Trym. Sarah emailed yesterday, so hopefully we will have a reunion of ex-Korean expats soon.